Cagestruck!

I think fate hates us

Days like this make me wonder if the god of Irony (or goddess could be either) follows us around, or maybe one that like to keep us humble or something.. is there a trickster god?

We escape the bard’s holy homeland of frost and end up killing the pets of some creature on our way out. We did not attack first but we get the blame. Some of us get housework duty (Not that I was against it.. I have been a maid before) while some of us try to get some forest booty. Glad Foolship got that “fixed” because it was awkward to be around him. He could of taken an ogre at the ankles just by turning.

Missed ladies night again at the Palace (That’s a bar/casino/bank) but due to some prior dealing that numbskull putz got his oh so precious armor jacked by birdman bunglers. I think I was ready for a fight or at least hoping on it. I can’t remember to much had a lot of booze that night, woke up under the bed half dressed. Need to file a complaint or something, I think someone watching the storage got paid off.

Now it Barovia (I got that right?) home of vampires, undead, and ghoulies galore. We are here at the behest of those wanting their counts rule to end. One of the spellflingers contacts pulled us here into the shadowfell. I’ll be the first to admit the dark and gloomy is a bit more my style but the beef jerky people coming after you really does grate someone nerves down. On a side note the spellflinger gut bitten by a vampire.. dunno if they means she’s gonna turn or if that was a noon time snack thing. I know nothing of the legends of the pale emo ones safe sunlight seems to pis them off.

Odd days ahead odd days behind.. story of our lives…

View
The Transplanar Shitlist

This is the last time I do house offers, this fucking spooky ass land of the dead has got to go. Barovia, murder capital of the multiverse it seems. This Strhad Vonsonofabitch guy, yeah gotta end him too, if anything but to make sure no one else gets pulled into his little personal hunting grounds. I was going to try to be nice and try to talk to the guy if we got the chance and see if we could get his curse broke but oh no he had to send the deadman party brigade and his lovely assistant Captain Neckdrinker.

It is times like this in every person’s life that they should take the forethought to create what I like to call “The Shitlist” people screw with you and they get put on there just to keep a mental note of who deserves to have their asses kicked.

Tiamat-Oh this wonderful lady, gets blocked from coming into a world where she isn’t invited. Then sneaks in while you are gone then screws up the place. Five heads and she still can’t understand she made this shit personal. Honestly gonna make sure Foolship has had a lot of fiber that day we take her out.

Strahd- Ah and at number two we have some vampire lord who resides in a place that may be tied with hell on the list of places you don’t want to end up in.So this guy has people lured into the “Spooky Woods” so he can have his cronies chase them down to kill them. I mean shit you rule a place for 350 plus years and don’t even come to personally introduce yourself before siccing the hounds, I thought vampires were supposed to have more class than this. Oh I got something for him we will see how well he goes up like old sharp teeth and pantaloons did.

See that is how you keep things from frustrating you, someone really deserves it, the list grows. Time to take care of another druid who thinks he is going to stop civilization by wrecking stuff, I hope to god this place has no undead owbears….

View
Yester Hill

Strahd.jpg The dead rise upon my command. They sing an ancient song, once filled with hope and life but now twisted by rage and hate. An echo of my own.

I watch as it explodes out of the wooden statue at the hill’s peak, sending earth flying. The dead Druids speak to it, this blight they name Wintersplinter. They direct it north, towards the Wizard of Wines. Its thunderous steps echo across the hills.

As the blight strides away, I look off into the mists and consider my options.

I recall the bard’s vexing song of daylight. It burned, so much light. He must be punished.

I remember my taste of the witch, quite delicious, although she is not nearly as fitting as Ireena for a bride. Perhaps a mistress.

The cleric of the strange dwarf goddess must die, and as soon as possible. Her power is such that I must make her my focus next we meet.

The warrior’s armor is potent, but not something that cannot be overcome; I have an ancient spell hidden away in my library that will do the trick.

The gnome is scarcely an afterthought, although the wyrm’s mention of the tiny creature as it died did make me smile. Such creatures have no place in my realm, but dragon blood is certainly potent.

The swift woman with the scimitar is likely to be somewhat of a threat as she took to shadows as well as my own creatures.

I will have to re-examine these adventurers, and adjust my hunt accordingly.

But for now, my ancestral homeland is visible, once again, through the Whispering Wall. The Dark Powers taunt me for my failures. Thrust my damnation into my face. Thrust my pain like a dagger into my heart. For this is a beauty that can never again be. Much like my Tatyana.

View
Barovia

Aubrey.jpg Welcome to Barovia. We are to go to the village of Villaki. We are to find Madame Eva there. Barovia is a dark place and I am not caring to be here. It was quiet a challenge to get here too. I am not too sure we are going to be able to get out without difficulty.

We arrived to Villaki to find the place surrounded with a palisade type wall that was well secured. The people here are afraid of things beyond that wall. To get in we all had to consent to a search. We also had to check our weapons. Not too comfortable with that idea. Kitara didn’t care for it either. She did something really stupid, changed into a raven and flew over the wall. It seems these people are afraid of witches and now Kitara is labeled as one. We went to Madam Eva and now we have some sort of card reading that we are supposed to fulfill. Uggghh.

View
Through the Eyes of Ravens

“The gleam in her eyes was like warm sunlight on a still pond. That light is gone forever. When I try to imagine those eyes, all I see is a mad abyss” – Strahd von Zarovich

Strahd.jpg

A slight grin crosses my face as I watch my prey enter Vallaki. It was rather delightful to watch the townsfolks’ response to the arrival of strangers. Especially one such as the oracle, whose magical talents are strong yet completely unnerving to my people. It seems that my prey do not recognize the terror they instill upon my subjects.

I watch them meet with their Vistani helper. I allow Madam Eva her reading with her “heroes”, and never reveal that there are those among her midst who serve me. The Vistani’s talent with those cards never ceases to amaze me.

“This card tells of history. Knowledge of the ancient will I help you better understand your enemy,” I hear Eva whisper hoarsely as she flips the first card—her hands are trembling.

“I see a throne fit for a king.”

Quickly, she turns the next card.

“This card tells of a powerful force for good and protection, a holy symbol of great hope…I see a sleeping prince, a servant of light and the brother of darkness. The treasure lies with him.”

Her hands are trembling harder, and she squints as she looks at the third card.

“This is a card of power and strength. It tells of a weapon of vengeance: a sword of sunlight. Look to a place where sickness and madness are bred. Where children once cried, the treasure lies still.”

She takes a drink of her water, her eyes roll, and she reaches for the fourth card.

“This card sheds light on one who will help you greatly in the battle against darkness. Evil’s bride is the one you seek!”

She moans as she reaches for the last. I am grinning like a wolf. My finger twitches absently, and her body spasms slightly.

She mutters something about Arrigal, and I cannot stifle my laughter. Then she speaks again.

“Your enemy is a creature of darkness, whose powers are beyond mortality. This card will lead you to him! He lurks in the one place to which he must return-a place of death.”

She seems weak when she is finished, but these would-be heroes seem mystified and satisfied by her proclamations at the same time. They believe they are the hunters here. Ehrume has done his job well, and will be richly rewarded for his service. And these?

Soon, they shall learn to fear the night.

A shuffle beside me alerts me to another’s presence within my sanctum. I do not need to turn my gaze to know who it is.

“Take a group out to the Abbey of St. Markovia. Explore the ruin. There might be something there of interest to me,” I tell my servant.

Some of the cryptic messages within Madam Eva’s cards are not entirely lost to me. I would see dear Ireena again, before I begin this hunt. In the meantime, I will call upon a pack of wolves to harry my prey. And then the darkness ever-present within my damned soul enfolds my being, and I become one with this night.

View
A Nymph's Deadly Grace

Astelle.jpg The hidden grotto was filled with the soft sounds of a gurgling stream, bird calls, and fox trills. She walked through it with a smile. This was her land and home. She would never leave.

Intruders were approaching. They probably wanted her to leave, like most of the uninvited guests to her home seemed to desire.

Smiling, she glided over to her pond and slid the shift she wore down her shoulders. As it gathered at her feet, she stepped out of it, and then dipped her toes in the pond. Her foot nudged the bleached skull of one who had tried to remove her from her home before.

He had died, like many before him, with his last sight being her unearthly radiance.

View
Dishes

Aubrey.jpg Dishes… after a full afternoon of fighting and defending ourselves, we have come to being a group of dishwashers. It seems that the large mandibled creatures we killed in the process of our defense, was a hunting party. They were called Umber Hulks and belonged to a powerful man Dao Lord Teranol of Stonehall. Our option was the dishes, 10000 in number, or go after a nymph as payment for killing his prized beasts. Never mind the fact that his beasts attacked us first and we defended. This Lord Teranol displayed powers that were way beyond what we as a group could argue with. I am not going after a nymph and demand to make her his bride, despite her denial of his love. Of course, leave it to the druid to go off and attempt to go get her. May Truesilver find mercy on him for his cruel decision. The very idea of forced slavery does not sit well with me. My choice of least resistance was to do dishes. My fingers are wrinkled and I can’t feel my arms anymore. Giant sized dishes on top of it all. Did I mention how I really don’t care for giants.

View
There's My Journal!

Turns out i left this thing in my bag, in between the extra set of plate mail I need to get rid of. I have another set that I need to sell, but that’s in the Bag of Holding.

So, I gotta say: This last trip was fairly interesting. Going to go see Ozzy’s Pop was fairly intriguing, but the journey itself was interesting itself. Too bad I didn’t have to fight/ kill the fifteen of something people to get out- the dragon-thing and giants probably made up for it. Speaking of Dragon-thi gs, i managed to get myself a set of armor that basically makes me invulnerable to damage. At least, non-magical damage. So that’s pretty cool.

So, we’re on our way back to Signal, when we got swarmed by a few things that took a while to kill. Then, some ugly insect things appeared, and snagged a few and did some weird light thing with their eyes. Atala seemed zoned out, staring into space towards the end of the fight. Don’t know what was up with that. That was after the bug things attacked. That was funny. Especially when three of ’em tried to hit me. Invulnerability rules!

Finally, We met this earth-manipulator dude. He seemed pretty pissed about us killing the bug things. I took the opportunity of the others talking to him t size the dude up, and I did not like the conclusion. I might be going with Foolship to find this nymph. We’ll see how this goes tomorrow…

View
Giant Problems

Aubrey.jpg

I am not sure where to begin since my last journal entry. I have learned so much since leaving the church to help the people. With the shift in planes I have been all over the place.

I have been to a mud plane where our group delivered the diamond to its rightful owner and returned back to Sigil.

Sigil seems to be the portal plane to all places and a very strange place indeed.

We no longer arrived back when Oswald got a summons to go visit his father. Nothing special except that Oswalds father is some sort of Celestial. So off we traveled to see him.

Now I didn’t mention that the plane we were going to would require us to defeat fifteen opponents in battle before we could leave. Not so sure about all those rules. On the bright side, if you die you resurrect the following dawn as if nothing happened.

I suppose this would be a good place to learn battle prowess if one wanted to. I just wanted to go in this errand and get back. I have so much to do with the church still.

The land was frigidly cold, but I at least had enough brains to get cold weather gear for the travel. We started the journey and right after arriving we saw our first fight.

It wasn’t an easy fight to win and we still don’t know if only the killing blow gets credit or not. Guess we will find that all out when we can ask Oswalds family about the rules here.

Giants were our first creature to defeat. It was quiet difficult indeed. I just hope that the rest of the creatures here are not that difficult. I seriously am questioning my decision to make this trip.

View
Wet-T Contest

Kitara_Morningstar.jpgDuring the past weeks in Sigil Ive made quite the impression. I checked out the local bars with idle curiosity, until arriving at the Pleasure Palace. Seeing the excitement of the onlookers as several contestants starting dancing seductively under showers. I had already had a few drinks throughout the day and all inhibitions seemed to disappear when this rush presented itself. I jumped on stage as they called for any more contestants. I unbuckled my corset, reveling a tight white undershirt and bikini bottoms. It was a wondrous feeling performing for the crowd, all the while using my magic to enhance the experience like a spotlight giving them a show. Lets just say I left the night with many admirers and the prize. It seems many know me now as the Oracle of Truesilver since I am seen flying to his temple on my carpet frequently.

View

I'm sorry, but we no longer support this web browser. Please upgrade your browser or install Chrome or Firefox to enjoy the full functionality of this site.